I'm a Dreamer, Not a Goal Setter

You ever feel sometimes like you missed a step in life? Like there was this important class that taught you everything you needed to know about how to get on in life, and for some reason, whether you got the date wrong, or you blew it off thinking that you didn't need some stupid class to tell you how to live, you totally missed it?

I mean, there are plenty of people out there that have their shit together. Tonnes of people that know what they want out of life and how to get it. Of course, I don't know any of them personally... but, the point is there MUST be some out there. Right?

My problem is I'm not quite sure what I want out of life. Or more precisely, which thing I want at what moment in time. I have too many hopes and dreams and am too ready to alter them to fit my current whim. I quite seriously want to be the Math Scholar, The Rock star, The Stay-at-Home Mom, The Wild Child, The Put-Together-Sexy-Secretary, The Career Student, The Life-of-the-Party, The Wallflower. It's all me, all different sides of me.

And I've always hated making decisions. I'm a firm believer that picking just one is unfair to all the rest. I don't have just one favorite band, I have two and a whole lot more that come in at a close second. I don't have just one favorite color, movie, kind of pop or flavor of ice cream. I was given a very cute and cuddly bunny one year for my birthday and I slept with it neatly tucked under my arm, just like kids do in the movies, but after a few days, I realized that it was unfair to all my other stuffed animals, and if I wasn't going to sleep with all of them on my bed, then I couldn't have any. I should probably not mention that I was well over the age of ten at this time, in fact I was over 18.

Who was it anyways that said that we could only be one thing in our lives? And why does the world make it so hard to try and be all the things you want to be? Sure there are somethings that are all perfectly planned out. If you want to be a doctor you go to Medical School; a lawyer, Law School. But where do you go that teaches you how to be a Rock star? How to be the free spirited Wild Child that flutters from job to job happy as a blue jay? Or how to find a a guy that actually likes being around you even when your at worst?