Good Advice

With so many people out there ready and willing to give you their two-cents on anything and everything, how do you know what advice is good advice?


I've recently had a few friends who have told me a few snippets of wisdom, that aren't purely advice, but more questions you must ask yourself in order to come to your conclusion. One such snippet was "Do what makes you happy." It sounds simple enough, but how many of us put the happiness of others before our own only to end up miserable ourselves. I'm not saying disregard everybody Else's feelings to gratify your own, but every now and then you've got to step back and go "I am I doing this to please someone else, or because I want to do it?" or even "Am I NOT doing this just to please someone else, when I'd really like to?" This sentiment goes hand in hand with something another friend has said "Who are you trying to please? Your friends? Your family? It doesn't matter what other people think as long as you know you are doing something that is right for you."

And these things have been said to me time and time again, but now that I've distanced myself from the protective bubble of friends and family and have looked back on just how much my actions are geared around trying to make other people like me, or just to fit in with something, I've come to realize that all it's been doing is making me stand out even more. Because I'm not doing what I want to do, or saying what I want to say, I'm letting my parent's shoot down every idea that I've ever had about what I want to do with my life. I've let my friends decide which bar to go to even thought I never like the one that they pick out.

I got upset when my father told me that moving back home is a stupid idea and that there is nothing for me there. And I'm sure his intentions were meant to signify that he thinks I should give Vancouver another shot and that maybe i just met more people and made some more friends the things would be better. The thing is, Vancouver is not my final destination. This move out here was to get away and clear my head, and really to prove that I could make it on my own. I've been trapped in my protective bubble for so long, that I'd become scared about the notion of living alone. But, it is time to officially fly the coop. And so what that I've decided to venture out on my own back in the same old city I just moved from.

I've learned on many occasions that my heart lies in the desert valley where two rivers, their names both Thompson, meet.

Friend or Foe?

Lately, I've been learning new sides to my friends, and some of them aren't too pretty. Like the responses to my Prince Charming post from my friends that were SO off base it's like they weren't even listening to me. They just heard the same old "Oh, poor little old me doesn't have a boyfriend" whine, and responded in turn with comments like "You don't need anyone, you have your self!" or "We love you and will always be there for you!" And while such comments are appreciated, they were not helpful in the least.

That post was not about wanting someone to come and sweep me off my feet. It was about not needing that, but at the same time needing someone to point me in the right direction and giving me some hope because right now I'm a little lost and am on the brink of giving up (sometimes, not all the time). And telling someone who is depressed and has very little love for themselves to look inside for the love and support they need is naive, to say the least.

Or the friend who kindly asked if my "hitting the bottle a lot lately" was wise considering my medication. To which my immediate response was "What!?!?" I have no idea where she got the notion that I've been drinking my face off, but there are definitely far better ways to ask that question. In fact, I'm still so mad at her for that, that I've kind of been avoiding her lately, just because I know I will respond with something that is going to make her mad, and then there will be a big fight, and it will get very messy... So I'm trying to calm down about it and think of a reasonable response, but I just can't right now.

It's strange that in trying to find yourself you find out things about your friends that make you re-evaluate how much they influence the decisions you make. How much influence do your friends have on you?