Sometimes I wonder...

Sometimes, when I am sitting on the couch beside my boyfriend, I wonder if he's thinking of her instead of me, and maybe that's why he doesn't touch me. And sometimes I wonder if the only thing that stops him from being with her is her age.

And if when I'm staying over and he isn't there I have to really fight the urge to snoop through his computer to check to see that he hasn't emailed her recently, or if she has sent him anything else on FaceBook.

Really, I want to secretly block her on his Facebook and then I'd send her an incredibly mean message about how he chose me over her, and that contrary to her belief, I do NOT take every minute I spend with him for granted. In fact I cherish every minute I spend with him. And rue every minute she spends with him.

In fact, I'd tell her:

Stop emailing, texting, messaging, and Facebooking my man. That's right, MY man. You're too young and can't have him. He chose me over you already. I gave him the option to walk away, and he chose to stay with me. So no more or your whiny, snivelling "I miss you". And especially none of your "Hi Handsome!" or "Did I do something to upset you cuz you seemed really mad at me at work today?" And certainly no more "My life sucks so much that last night I sat in the bathroom with a bottle of pain killers and just wanted to end it all." Get over yourself. You're 16, this is not the end of the world. Your life can't possibly be that horrible, unless what your feeling is guilt. Guilt that you're secretly trying to manipulate your supervisor into an incriminating position. Or guilt that you are going out with a guy in the hopes the he will help you try to get over your supervisor. So why don't you take his advice and get on with your life? And stay the fuck out of mine. Oh, and get your own fucking ride home bitch!!

On a side note: Thanks a lot to the freakin asshole that commented that I deserved to have my boyfriend like a 16 year old more than me, and that he was probably cheating on me with her too. I do happen to trust my boyfriends moral judgement enough that he would not cross that line with her. Being that she is far younger than him and he is in a supervisory role, he knows the consequences that would follow and so does she. Yes, he's a stupid guy that thinks that having an emotional relationship with a girl other than your girlfriend is OK, but he is smart enough to know when to draw the line. In fact through out the whole ordeal, it was never a matter of me trusting him, it was the issue of not trusting the 16 year old girl. I've been that girl. I know what it's like. And in a strange way, I feel sorry for her and well as hate her.